Fantasy Football Has Begun!!!!!
These posts are copied and pasted from the message board of the league I play in with my best friends back home. My team name is FullFrontalMaleNudity
Post 1: MY DICK
(The Ladies Delight)
Aug 3 11:13pm
Cant wait to meet all your asses.
Post 2: KI????
(Cobra Kai)
Aug 11 10:21am
Change your name Colby! You worthless fuck. You didn’t even spell it right…
Post 3: How bout my name?
(FullFrontalMaleNudity)
Aug 11 5:34pm
Suck My dick!
Post 4: Re: Ki???
(Cobra Ki)
Aug 11 11:09pm
Wow thanks John Crease, sorry i didn’t lay on the couch jerking off to Ralph Macchio…Although I had the name first, I’ll be the bigger man.
PS blow me
Post 5: League Dues:
(W/Another Man’s Nuts)
Aug 12 8:30pm
If you did not pay last year, you must pay double this year. Let’s vote on a league fee…Post your thoughts.
Champ
Post 6: Re: League Dues:
(My lil Ponies)
Aug 13 5:35pm
agreed I want my money from last year…What about fifty…William Wallace killed fifty men…fifty.
Post 7: Re: League Dues:
(W/Another Man’s Nuts)
Aug 15 9:50pm
You are a good man. A thorough man. But you should listen to reason: reason says, have a wife and kid on the way, $50.00 may be pushing the wallet a little. Diapers and formula can get expensive in these trying times of economic hardship. I would hate to take food out of the baby’s mouth and put those hard earned greenbacks into my hookers and beer fund. Just a random musing.
Champ
Post 8: Re: League Dues:
(KngDonkofPunchstania)
Aug 17 12:32pm
lolol good form, good form.
Post 9: Jason’s name sucks dick
(FullFrontalMaleNudity)
Aug 18 1:24am
Jason’s name sucks dick. Marcus Aurelius had a dream that was Rome…..”Lady’s delight” is not it…. I never thought I would see the day when Jason had, hands down, the worst name in the league. If Jason isn’t going to take this league serious and pick a name that is actually funny or at least condescending, then I say he loses his freedom of choice.
We all liked Tuckmycockbtwmylegs. That was both funny and condescending. I say he has to switch it back or at least try again. That being said, I feel the rest of the names in this league fucking suck as well. I just expect more from Jason being he is slightly less mentally retarded then most members of this putrid league. Way to cut the last thread holding what little respect I had for you.
P.S. I don’t want to start beating a horse that died three years ago, but I feel I must bend your ear and remind everyone to really…. really…… work hard this year to keep the trades league friendly. I really can’t emphasize how important this is. Leagues get torn apart when this golden rule is not respected. Thanks for your time. (Cory please read this post to The Godfather, being as he can’t read).
-Artist formerly known as 8InchOakRoot….Out
Post 10: No Defensive Back This Year
(W/Another Man’s Nuts)
Aug 24 8:14pm
We will refrain from drafting a DB this year. Don’t ask questions b/c they won’t be answered. I said so. Commish. 2007 FFB Champion.
Post 11: Suck a dick. Lick a cunt.
(The Ladies Delight)
Aug 25 12:47am
And eat my fucking shit. I tore through this mutha fucker like an F5 Tornado last year only to have sweet victory SNATCHED from my talons by a Jason, an evil doer. This year I’m leaving a trail of carci (that’s plural for carcass) in my ultra-violent and possibly homoerotic wake.
I see I have the luxury of using my beloved cousin as the first stepping stone, in week 1. Braddock, your post delivered a deep burn, but it was really only a red herring to distract me from the fact that you owe me $100. Best pay me! Who you think you are, Ron O’neal or somthin?!?!?
- The Ladies Delight
PS – AKA Beef Curtain
PPS – My changing of the name had nil to do with any peer pressure. Beef Curtain came to my attention only recently, and would have been implemented regardless. Thank you.
PPPS – Games and jokes aside… guys, he is right about the trades. All this just isn’t fun if they aren’t League Friendly.
PPPS – Adam and John… sweet god give your names a face lift. The old gals are tired!!!
Post 12: Also…
(The Beef Curtain)
Aug 25 12:57am
I need to add The Godfather that last PPPS with Adam and John. Cause I’m pretty god damn sure I’ve had to look at Reckless Abandon for multiple seasons now. I would also like to replace the sentence “sweet god” from that same PPPS with either “sweet shit”, “sweet fuck” or “for fucks sake”. The beginning of my post was really swear heavy, while the end was not and I needed to balance the equation. That should help the flow of the reading.
Thanks, Beef Curtain! (Formerly: Lady’s Delight)
Post 13: Cobra Kai
(3rdTrimesterAbortion)
Aug 26 1:13pm
When I said change your name, I meant change the motherfucker not for you to correct the spelling of it you illiterate fuck. You’ve pissed me off now. I’m now changing my name from 3rd Trimester to a full on, partial birth abortion.
Fuck you all.
Post 14: LMAO!!!!
(FullFrontalMaleNudity)
Aug 26 7:27pm
This is the kind of messag
e board I want to be part of. AP your picture made me puke (his league photo is of a 500 pound woman in a cheerleader uniform) and your name made me laugh so hard I was crying..
Jason’s balancing of the cussing in his last post also made my jelly shake pretty fucking hard as well. Also, we are glad to see the peer pressure worked. (Appreciate the shout out to the league friendly trades. God knows it’s important). Keep up the good work.
I know you are all morons and it takes literally hours to write one post and you have major headache, but it’s well worth it.
P.S.
Adam = use to swab the poop deck in the navy, yet tells everyone he was a Marine.
Jarrod = (A weekly bye) Win the first game then lose 15 straight just like every year.
John = Doesn’t know football. Has an anger problem.
The Godfather = fat ass redneck fuck. He’ll be mailing his draft in this year being as he doesn’t know how to use a computer. “And in the first round, The Godfather takes Marvin Harrison.” GOD!!! I’m considering picking him, just because I can’t stand how lame it is that you pick him.
Jason= Cum Dumpster. “Hey guys, look how diesel I am.” Sooo tired of hearing that.
DR = (See also Matt and The Godfather’s comments)
KJ = He’s going to try to draft Freddy Addui in the first round because he thinks fantasy football means fantasy soccer.
Trades = Keep them League Friendly
Braddock (Aka Fullfrontalmalenudity, 8inchoakroot, aka big punisher, aka young fresh) = League Champ.
I am shocked over this page. I like hot women.
lol. Ok.