Dating Coach Braddock on Social Circle Game (5 of 7)
Question In The Lounge: “I’m also starting to suffer from approach fatigue. It feels like a constant process of rinse and repeat – followed by rejection. It’s wearing me down and I’m not sure if I have the same energy as a previously did when I first committed myself to this thing.”
My Answer:
Are you using cold approach to build a lifestyle or are you trying to go out and sniper “EVERY” night?
Having a rich Social Circle makes your cold approach skills much better.
In Social Circle Mastery we teach the idea of “active” and “passive” attraction:
Most of cold approach requires “active” attraction. Active attraction means that have to do and say things to the girl constantly throughout the entire interaction or you lose her attention. This is fun, but can be exhausting. If you are new to all of this and you haven’t mastered active attraction it can feel like a beat down.
Social Circle game is 70% “passive” attraction and 30% “active” attraction. In cold approach you have to find a way to drop in cool things about yourself without sounding like you are bragging. If you don’t find a way to drop these things in, then she’ll never know. Using storytelling to drop in these cool facts is another example of active attraction. You are constantly on the razors edge of sounding cool and bragging.
Social Circle Mastery affords you the opportunity to demonstrate the cool things about you through passive attraction. Other people talk about the cool things in your life, the woman sees it on your facebook, or it comes up naturally in conversation and you don’t have to force it. Instead of bragging about traveling the world as you would have to do in cold approach, she gets to hear about it and see it. If your lifestyle is as cool, then you get to leverage “passive” attraction to demonstrate it.
I’m not against cold approach, but I will say its a lessor form of game once you build a dynasty. Ideally you would do both cold approach and Social Circle Mastery in concert.
Inner Game Boost From SCM
Having a massive Social Circle is one of the richest things you can do for your Inner Game.
Cold approach ALONE, especially when you are starting out, is one of the things that can take the biggest toll on your Inner Game, because it is full of highs, lows, and plateaus…..heavily weighted on the lows and plateaus early on.
Even when you’re good, cold approach is an up and down game, because now you want hotter women every night and you think you should get laid every night. Having a solid Social Circle helps keep you centered and helps you attract hot girls through the gravity or momentum that you build over time with your life style and reputation. You get to lock in all the work you have done. In cold approach you are starting at zero every night, no matter how cool you are.
It sounds like you have hit some sticking point, that probably isn’t that hard of a fix, but because you are not getting any intermittent reward you feel trapped and tortured. All your eggs are in one basket. If you don’t go out and get laid or get a date, then you have NOTHING. That sucks. If you had a rich Social Circle you would be annoyed that you didn’t have a good night, but it would not hurt your self esteem. That’s key. If every bad night hurts your self esteem you are going to be running on empty rather quickly.
If you had a nice Social Circle of hot women you would still be struggling with the same sticking point in your cold approach, but you wouldn’t feel so bummed out about it and eventually you would break through it.
However, because you are nursing solely off the teat of cold approach and the teat is dry…..You are hurting pretty bad.
Step back…..go out and focus on networking and making a shitload of guy and girl friends for a month. Get a rich Social Circle brewing and put cold approach on the back burner for just 1 month. When you feel a new zest to go out and cold approach like a maniac, switch gears and go for it.
Your body is telling you that it’s time to shift gears……listen. I’m not saying give up on cold approach, I’m just saying step back and refocus for a little bit and let your head clear out, but in that down time go add a bunch of cool people that will make all of this that much easier when you do come back to it.
Next Caller!
-Braddock
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