Opening Mixed Sets by Dating Coach Vercetti
Today Vercetti, one of my close friends and a London based Love Systems dating coach, has taken over my blog. He is writing on of the topic of, “approaching mixed groups.” This means approaching groups that have both men and women.
Most guys are completely scared to approach mixed groups. While approaching mixed groups can seem scary and can get you in hot water if done wrong, they can also be the gateway to some of the hottest women.
I’ve taught tons of bootcamps and approached countless guy sets and never had a problem. This is not because I intimidate guys or because of something sexy that I say. I don’t get in bad situations because I am socially aware and because I always know or find out the logistics of the situation before I push for the girl.
So many hot girls go out in groups each night. A lot of the time they do have guys in their group. Usually the guy is just a friend or dating 1 of the girls. This means the rest of them are fair play. However, because there are guys in their group, most of these girls won’t get approached all night. This makes them the easiest girls to approach in the entire venue if done properly. They are the most starved for attention and wondering why no one is talking to them.
Following some of the exact ideas laid out below by Vecetti, I have met some of the hottest women I’ve ever dated, right under the nose of some meat head looking guys without a problem.
So take it away V…..
APPROACHING THE MIXED SET!
“ASSUMPTION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL FUCK UP’S!”
I decided to write this after the Miami Daygame seminar recently instructed with Soul. This topic comes up on EVERY bootcamp o r 1-1 I’ve ever done!
At minimum one student always says, I’m not opening them, “That’s probably her boyfriend”.
I want to start by first stating that I personally do not advocate taking another guys woman. One of the main reasons I continue to learn and teach dating science is because it’s important to me to make a positive contribution. Call me old fashioned, but I love to see people happy, and being the destructive force in someone relationship does not sit well with me.
That being said, I see nothing wrong with finding out the status of a relationship in order to determine whether a beautiful woman is single and I can hit on her.
So, Soul and I are in Miami and I am walking with several students when one points out this gorgeous blond sitting at a table talking with these two guys.
One of the students asks me, “How would you approach that girl?” followed by the classic statement “That’s probably her boyfriend.”
I instantly tell him Never Assume Anything unless it’s obvious! Unless they are holding hands, kissing or generally doing relationship stuff, you really don’t know the situation! Then I told the student to Go Find Out!
SIDE NOTE:
It is hugely important to always seek reference experiences when developing a new Habit, Belief System etc. 50% of the struggle is realizing that IT IS POSSIBLE. The other 50% is learning that it is possible for YOU. This is why, my 1-1’s consist of me doing demos so my students see what is possible. Then the students start taking action and being advised step by step in order to see first hand that it’s possible for them.
How do you approach the mixed group?
The number one thing to remember is to show the guys in the group RESPECT!
I have been out with my hot female friends that I have no interest in sexually and I have had so many guys come up and start talking to the girls with no acknowledgment or show of respect for me. The second this happens, I instantly cock block these guys. On the flip side of the coin I have had guys introduce themselves, show me due respect and if he has decent game and my friend likes him, I’ll even help him.
Every guy can relate to that feeling of seeing a hot woman and wanting to talk to her. However, not every guy out there can relate to the experience of actually grabbing his balls and making the approach in a coherent, non-drunken way. Most guys out there will respect you for even attempting to approach the girls in their group (if you acknowledge them and show them respect). Some guys will be dicks regardless of how you approach…that’s life.
By respect I don’t mean kissing their asses. This will have almost just a bad of a result as trying to act all tough. By respect I just mean finding out the status of the relationship.
Direct approach (Not hiding your intentions)
1. Friend
Me: “Hey lads, I had to find out…is she your girlfriend? She’s absolutely gorgeous!”
Lads: “Nah, she’s a good friend”
Me: “Yes!!! (Like a big kid) 
Hi, I’m Vercetti”
Game On!!! Treat the guys as if they are standard obstacles to befriend, and isolate her as soon as she is comfortable.
2. Partner
Me: “Hey lads, I had to find out…is she your girlfriend? She’s Gorgeous!”
Lad: “Yeah, check out the ring she’s my fiancé”
Me: “Fair play man, she’s beautiful, congrats man!” Aaaand I’m out!
3. Sister
Me: “Hey lads, I had to find out…is she your girlfriend? She’s absolutely gorgeous!”
Lad: “She’s my sister”
Me: “Fair play mate, no disrespect intended she just took my breath away, she’s beautiful…I’m Vercetti.”
I say all of the above loud enough for the woman to hear, I then introduce myself to the guys, then I introduce myself to her, and then I go ahead and work my magic on her.
4. Direct to the girl (Be prepared to possibly deal with heavy resistance from the guys)
V: “Hey, are any of these guys your boyfriend?”
Her: “Nah, they’re just friends”
V: Playful “Good :) You’re fucking gorgeous and I really wanted to meet you.”
Over the next few weeks go out and try both opening the guys first for a while and then go out and try opening the girl directly. I honestly switch between those two options depending on how bold I’m feeling. Going directly to her shows less regard for the guys which displays both you’re lack of fear, but done incorrectly it can also show a completely lack of social intuition.
Remember that both approaches should be done with high value sub-communications like I described in my post.
Indirect approach (Masking your intentions until you know logistics)
1. When going indirect you want to approach the whole group and not just the girl. Once you introduce yourself, get her name last and say to the closest guy “And what’s your girlfriends name?” (Make sure you say it loud enough for her to hear it) at which point her or the guy will answer and make the relationship status known. (Credit 5.0 for this gem)
2. The classic “How do you all know each other?” After having run standard indirect game.
So my student in Miami went in, showed the guys respect, found out the relationships status, and to his delight they were all just friends! GAME ON!!!
In Summary…
Never never assume! Go in and Find out!
Vercetti….
Good stuff V, looking forward the next episodes on sub-communication.
Good stuff V, looking forward the next episode on sub-communication. Cheers !