Dating Coach Dubbsy On Same Night Lays
Same Night Lays
I was just listening to Braddock and Daxx’s interview on Take-aways & Boundaries and it’s inspired me to write up a post on how to get one night stands, and getting them to leave after. This is pretty much what I aim for when I go out, I’m not really interested in dates, or a girl friend right now, so this post is going to stick to one night stands & maybe later on I’ll write up another on friends with benefits.
A lot of my one night stand game came from listening to and watching Braddock, Daxx, Mr. M, Calabrese, Soul, and Pendrixx. All of these guys have tremendous game and taught me (and continue to teach me) a lot, but they still can’t beat me, and can suck it!!
This is going to be a long post, and will be broken up into segments so that you don’t go numb from sitting in front of your computer….
Ok so here it goes, Dubbsy’s One Night Stand game, take what you will and add what you want…
One night stands come down to 6 main themes:
- Moving them
- Going sexual
- Frame control
- Tension and the release of it
- Being playful
- Being seen as a scarce resource (feeling of loss).
So that’s what we’ll be talking about folks, I’m going to start off with the last of the topics mentioned, scarce resource, and give you an easy, fun, and effective way to do it
BE SOCIAL!!
Something Braddock makes everyone do in his seminar is social proof the room. This is money because for one, it gets your warmed up and in a social mood. Your brain starts turning, you start enjoying the environment and treating it like your playground instead of some frightening judging place. Another thing it does is get you noticed, not just by the girls, but by EVERYONE.
People will see you interacting with everyone and will want to get to know you, guys see you talking to mad girls, and they want to know how you know them, what you’re saying, who you are (leader of men anyone?)? Girls will see you talking to lots of people and they’ll be curious about you, what’s this guy got going on? And they’ll even sometimes approach you, or what usually happens is they’ll just get close to you and/or make eye contact a couple times. It goes along with the inverted seduction principle that Mr. M wrote about, and what him and Braddock talk about in their Inner Game Seminar.
People see a friendly social guy and their mirror neurons (monkey see monkey do effect) make them feel friendly and social as well, aka more receptive to your opener. ***Don’t think that every set you do this too has to go well in order for this to work and give you Social Proof!!*** I remember Calabrese asking a student, “How’d that set go? Looked like they were into you” (Student was smiling, locked in and engaging everyone in the group). The guy replied “Nah they were cursing me out and telling me to fuck off.” But what Calabrese said next opened my eyes…“Perception is reality.” Cause to us it looked like it went real well, and to everyone else it looks the same!! It doesn’t matter what actually happens in the set, as long as you don’t make a big deal or give off the impression it went bad, nobody will think it did!!
Some of you might be thinking, how does this tie in to one night stands? Social proofing will increase your value to everyone. If you’re perceived as the guy that knows everybody, people will want to get to know you, especially girls, who think that by knowing you will get them special treatment. This also gives off the appearance of options (even if they’re not there) so a girl who sees you doing this will fear losing you to all the other girls you’ve spoken to tonight. It creates a sub-conscious feeling of loss, and girls hate that…they’re so competitive!!
Ok so you’ve social proofed the room, warmed up your mouth and brain, now what? Now we’re going to lay out the details of one night stand theory for you.
One night stand game is a combination of
1) Thresholds
2) Being Playful (role-plays/teasing/flirting)
3) Push-pull
4) Sexual-Hoops
5) Take-aways
6) Force framing
7) Physical escalation and tension, and
8) Sexual tension. Let’s get into each topic:
1) Thresholds (Braddock has written extensively on this, below is a summation of it):
• A threshold is what it takes for a woman to go home with you that same night
• every girl has different threshold, you have to find out what their blueprint is
◦ you do this by reading her signals, how she reacts to things like sexual comments, your touch, ideas of you guys moving around the bar, leaving together, going to eat, etc…
◦ see what buttons turn them on and which ones turn them off. I’ve literally laughed girls into bed and have them say “I love sense of humor in a guy”, but I’ve also lost girls by playing the funny card too often. Some will want to connect with you intellectually, and have you show them something different that they’ve never seen/done before, you gotta test the waters and see what hits and what doesn’t, then throw out what isn’t working and keep what is
▪ This goes for touch and verbal aspects as well. Some girls will let you escalate like crazy physically and not talk sexual at all, and some will want you to tell them how they won’t be able to walk right tomorrow… experiment and see what works (more on how to do that later…)
2) Being Playful
• What is Being Playful:
◦ Misinterpreting what they say, teasing, role plays, not taking anything too serious.
• Why being playful works:
◦ This should be self-explanatory but girls go out at night to have fun, and relax. Being playful and fun will allow you to make girls feels more at ease and comfortable with you. A lot of my comfort game is just me being silly with them. You don’t want to run crazy comfort because then they’ll see you as BF material. They still might fuck you that night (lot less likely), but then they’re hooked and you’re going to have a problem getting them to leave or just stay in Friends with Benefits mode without hurting their feelings. You also don’t want to throw comfort out because they gotta know you’re not some creepy dude that invented the date rape drug.
◦ When you’re playful you set the tone of an interaction. They’ll be thinking, “This guy is fun, different and he’s not trying to impress me. Not necessarily a guy I’d take home to meet the rents but I’d fuck him.” The thin-slice of someone who’s playful is that he’s not looking for anything serious because that’s not how he’s acting, he’s spontaneous, a little crazy, funny, dominating (risk-taker, goes for what he wants), and all these traits will roll over to how she assumes you are in bed.
• So how to be playful:
◦ Role plays – get married, divorced, use content from the convo to assign her roles and positions in life. Example: Girl wound up driving me and my friends around town one night, blasting Beyonce all night long (Beyonce is a stand up gal, and fine as hell, but I’d rather jerk off with sand paper than listen to her music). So now she’s my driver, as long as she gets rid of the Beyonce and looks good in the new limo uniform I picked out for her (dental floss, with a Yankee hat ;-) ). There’s plenty of role plays out there, but I suggest making up your own as you go along, it’s easier and way more effective.
◦ Don’t take anything serious and misinterpret shit. Something Braddock and Daxx will say is “So basically you hate me cause I’m black” even though they’re both white. I’ll introduce myself, get her name and tell them we just got through our first date. It’s just creating silly scenarios that don’t take too much mental effort for them to act out. Over exaggerate everything, if a girl bumps into you and says: “Sorry”; “yeah don’t let that happen again J” “or what!” (maybe this is more a confrontational NY thing) “Well I haven’t hit a girl in like 6 days (start stretching)” – Credit to Braddock.
▪ Caveat to this, if she says something that’s serious or meaningful to her, take it serious and talk about it for a second or two, and then change the topic.
◦ Bar games – Fuck Marry Kill, chopping game, Tell her, people watch, thumb wrestle, there’s a shit ton of games available for you to look up on theattractionforums.com if you’re interested in them.
◦ Flirting – I put this under being playful because well when you flirt you’re not saying anything too serious, it’s pretty much all done in a joking manner. Something I’ll say is “So this is what flirting feels like, sweet, what do I do next?” This will lead into Teasing…
◦ Braddock and Dahunter did a whole interview series on teasing so I’ll just give an overview:
▪ Tease the general: “Oh I’m from the Bronx” “Sweet so which gang did you join after elementary school?”
▪ Call them out on silly shit: “You’re drinking beer out of a bottle?!? What’re you too good for cans or something? High maintenance, I knew it.” When all they serve is bottles (credit Braddock)
▪ Don’t button push and constantly bring up the same joke over and over, it looses it’s resonance and it comes across as try hard
▪ Don’t tease their passions unless you give credit to them first
▪ And tease along a gradient, small teases at first, if she responds well and laughs, maybe banters back, then throw out bigger ones, don’t think you need to escalate to the world series (go Yankees) of teases and throw out the meanest biggest ones you can think of. I usually just do a lot of small ones and maybe run some constant themes through out the interaction.
▪ This is a 30,000 ft view of that interview series and what you’ll learn at workshop, so if you’re interested in hearing more get your ass to one of Braddocks BC’s or get that IVS!!
Ok this is enough to get you guys started… The next article will be posted shortly and is about Push Pull, Takeaways, and Sexual Hoops… stay tuned and you’ll get the scoop!!
- Dubbsy
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Tight post man.
I enjoy your style.
Great post. Looking forward to part 2