Dating Tips: The Art of Push/Pull:
In my years of being a Dating Coach it’s become apparent that the most important and easiest way to flirt with women is to use what is called Push/Pull.
Basic Definition: “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.”
On a more advanced level flirting using push/pull is the art of using both your physical touch/facial expressions and your words in unison. This could mean that you tease her about something or playfully call her out on something, yet while doing so you are smiling, you pull her in and hug her just before she gets mad to show her you are kidding. The guys I know who are the best with women when it comes to flirting, building attraction in the first encounter, building attraction in Social Circle settings, or maintaining a fun relationship are masters of push/pull.
To truly master push/pull you must learn to calibrate to the woman. Each woman has her own default push/pull blueprint. Some girls blueprint is that they respond best when the ratio is 5 pushes to every 1 pull. With these type of women, they will quickly get bored with a guy who tries to compliment “pull” to often. Even with these women, the pull must appear at some point or she will give up and lose interest assuming you are just a jerk.
Other girls default blueprint is just the opposite. If you want to properly flirt with these women, you will be best off giving light compliments “pulling” maybe 5 times for every one tease “push.”
However, even though each woman has her own default blueprint for when she first meets new guys, this blueprint can quickly change relative to your value. That same woman who would have felt massive attraction to a 5 pushes to 1 pull ratio, will not be receptive to a low value guy attempting such a ratio. However, the woman who responds better to 5 pulls and 1 push and would normally get upset if the average guy teased her to much, will have no problem being teased hard by a guy who she considers extremely high value in her Social Circle or a celebrity.
Basic Example of Push/Pull:
The Push: (In Orange)
The Pull: (In Green)
I meet a girl, we are flirting, but 10 minutes in I find out she is from Texas. Since I’m originally from Oklahoma. There is a natural reason for immediate push/pull.
Braddock: “Damn, your from Texas. (Faking disappointment with face and Body Language) This sucks, you’re really cute and I was just starting to like you, but now I have to break up with you. I’m going to need my CD’s back and my letter jacket. Now that I know you are from Texas, I don’t feel so bad about cheating on you. But, you were amazing in bed. This makes me sad.” (Pretend to walk away, then come back smiling. She drops her jaw and playfully punches me in the arm. I pull her in, hug her and kiss her on the cheek).
Breakdown of The Above:
The Push? (In Orange) Any point in the above where I’m saying something mean, pretend to break up with her, pretend to be disapointed, or fake walking away.
Go out and practice pushing as hard as you can without pissing girls off. The sweet spot is when she is almost mad, but you can tell she likes that you have the balls to push her buttons, yet the social savvy to release the tension by intermittently complimenting or physically being warm “pulling.” Go out for a week and mess this up. I give you permission to piss some girls off. This is the only way you will know what the boundary is with this stuff. The more she likes you and the more attracted she is, the harder you can push. This is how you build deep layers of attraction with women. The farther you can successfully take things with the teasing “pushing” the better it will feel for her when you do release the tension by being warm verbally or physically, “pulling.”
The Pull? (In Green) Any point in the above where I compliment her, smile, or physically escalate. When you are trying to flirt with women, don’t kill the sexual tension by over pulling.
Most guys will say, “Just kidding” when the girl wasn’t even mad. Save comments like “just kidding” for when you truly piss her off and even then, use it sparingly. Also, don’t kill sexual tension by playfully pushing, but laughing at your own joke to early in an attempt to break the tension, hoping she will ‘be ok with it.’ Have some balls and be ok with creating some tension. This tension is what makes the compliments “the pull” actually feel really good. No tension + pulling = no attraction and no secondary gain of the pull feeling good. Pulling with no attraction, is simply validating her, not causing a connection.
Go out and practice complimenting. Range them and see what happens. Notice the difference when you give light compliments after several teases. Notice that it doesn’t kill the tension, but actually allows you to push it farther. Then try over complimenting to early and being way to nice and notice how it kills the sexual tension and makes it even harder to push the next time.
Would you guys like more articles like this? Comment below and let me know.
Like this post? Check out these posts by Dating Coach Braddock…..
How to Get Good With Women Fast
Golden Rules of Building a Social Circle
maximal respect 4 your writings, you got some tight game!
You should come to Croatia, girls here are 10s and they are very hard to game…they require some hardcore push-pull , neging and real Alpha behaviour.
peace!
We want more…we want more…we want more….
Love this post, the example really helps and would love seeing more posts like this. looking forward to the phone/text book
Thanks for the feedback fellas. I’ll try to write more content posts like this.
-Braddock
Sick shit brah. This is amazing, it’s just that it’s hard to create (or to use) that kind of humor and practice it when you’re in a social setting like high school. I’ve also listened to the teasing, humor, and role play interview series which definitely has a lot tight shit to use, but I have the same problem there too. If you could, please write up some articles on social circle type of push-pull since you use to go to college and probably did it.
Very useful for me. B, when you do write something it is a keeper (take notes) but part of me wishes you released gems of this caliber (where I gotta note it!), at least 2x month. Thanks for quota this Dec! (Rss subscriber for about a year) Looking fwd to the book.
Hey thanks for the comments fellas.
Great feedback Viraj. I’ll try to bang out more content articles fo sho.
@NickyJ. Thanks for the props my friend. I want you to email Dubbsy@lovesystems.com He recently graduated college and is GREAT at push pull and college game. Tell him you read this post and ask him the same question.
Good stuff. Keep the comments coming fellas!
-Braddock
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Great article bud! Your constantly improving,correcting,learning and evolving which really keeps you in the lead. I do have the problem of over teasing girls which I must learn to ‘cool’ them off with some light compliments. I like girls with a bit of backbone and doesn’t take herself and things to seriously so I use it as a test to see if she is that type of person is this a correct thing to do?
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This is classic Swinggcat type stuff. I never seem to get this to work to well. I do not know if its my calibration or what but it always seems that if I do too little, I do not get enough attraction and if I do too much the girl thinks I am a total A-hole.
This stuff really confuses me. Braddock is there a difference in the push pull for say 6-8 as say 9-10 girls?
omg worst come on’s ever
if anyone try’s thinking about breaking up with me they’re threw i want them to love me completely and not even think about it because i will find another guy if you do that to me and a way hotter one at that too, i’d fucking rip off their ears and kick them in the balls if they did that sort of move on me they better not even try and touch me after that.
Best piece of writing I’ve read about push-pull in a long time. I like that you refer to it as an art, as it is a very delicate attraction tool that requires some real mastery/calibration. I have to agree with the comment above, your game is really something. I’m still trying to figure out how you guys have mastered how to tease so bloody well, all the stuff you use is very situational. I noticed this in your field report where you gamed that Asian chick. That FR was gold. As well as the one where you kept calling the girl Satan and you did that intense take away/Push when she gave you shit about coming into her place and you went just went off at her(that shit was mighty) -
Hey thanks a lot man. I think it’s one of the most important parts of attraction and the bedrock of flirting.
You are just a bunch of fucking VIRGIN-RETARDS…
Good article. More stuff about push/pull and flirting in general would be great. It’s one of my weaknesses.
You don’t understand anything about relationships. What douchebag would say “Damn, your from Texas. (Faking disappointment with face and body language) This sucks, you’re really cute and I was just starting to like you, but now I have to break up with you. I’m going to need my CD’s back and my letter jacket. Now that I know you are from Texas, I don’t feel so bad about cheating on you. But, you were amazing in bed. This makes me sad.” (Pretend to walk away, then come back smiling. She drops her jaw and playfully punches me in the arm. I pull her in, hug her and kiss her on the cheek).”
That’s completely retarded and shows how very little you understand about women.
Braddock, how come you never answered me from a couple of months ago? Is there a difference in push pull with say the 6 to 8 vs. 9 to 10?
……….
Chanukah http://www.alljewishlinks.com Chanukah…
It’s less about how hot she is and more about what she responds to and the value she assumes you have.
If it was a 10 in your social circle where you are the man, you can probably push/pull much harder than you can if it is a 10 you approached at a bar who is starring at you like, “Why is this guy talking to me.”
Same for a 5. If you open and she looks like she is glad you approached her, you can push harder. If she is acting cold or shy, she will likely be less responsive to push/pull.