Flirting With Women: Push/Pull Gone Wrong
I think you’ve been reading to much of David Deangelo’s old “cocky funny” stuff. I love that ebook, but he never really explains the other side of how this works and he never so much as flirts with how to balance it out. Almost everything you read in that book is about how to “push.”
To be good at flirting with women you must master both sides of the coin. Learning how to properly pull is at least as important as knowing how to push properly. You don’t always need to push, especially in situations like the above. Often times it is more than fine, if not necessary, to vibe with them first with several pulls or neutral comments in a row. By doing this, you are actually setting the table for multiple teases “pushes” later.
Remember, when people do not know you well, they have to take everything at face value. If you push far to hard early in the interaction, she is not going to assume, “I’ll bet he’s just a playful guy and he really is interested in getting to know me.” No, she will just take the nature of your interaction as, “Wow, I wanted to get to know this guy, he is really abrasive, I was trying to be nice, and he is saying rude shit without even trying to pull me back into the conversation to let me know he was joking or trying to make me feel like he wants to be apart of this conversation. What a dick.“
I know this can be confusing, because you hear some of your natural buddies or read some of these field reports where dating coaches are saying some really crazy stuff to women. What you aren’t noticing or they aren’t doing a very good job of conveying, is that they build up to that. Now, they may build up to it in under 30 seconds or it may take weeks before they are flirting with the woman like that, but they are in fact building up to that by pulling and vibing at intermittent variables to keep the woman from feeling prolonged negative emotions.
To facilitate this, especially in the scenario above where she approached you first, you may want to build her up with 3 or 4 light compliments or light rapport questions/statements, followed by a light tease as she feels more comfortable with you. Once you get her laughing or playing along with your teases, this is the green light you’ve been waiting for. Now you slowly amp up the teasing, while still mixing in some rapport and vibing, until you can bust on her pretty hard and she is cool with that. Now simply wash rinse repeat. Just because she is cool with you busting on her harder, does that mean you need always escalate to that next level right away? NO!! To flirt with women properly you need to work up and down the gradient. Once she is cool with you busting on her hard, take a mental not of that, but work back down the ladder teasing her on lighter things, vibe and build more rapport, then bust on her hard again.
Follow this rule especially in situations where she took the risk of approaching you. She must have thought you were attractive and that took some balls on her part to flirt with you, then you essentially told her to stick it up her ass 
. I know you were just playing, but it’s obvious that she didn’t.
I would like you to re read the above interaction that you had with her and this time I would like you to pretend a beautiful 10 is saying what you said and I want you to pretend you are the girl who reached out trying to flirt with this hot stranger. Now, can you see how bad that would feel? I would think she was bombing me if a girl talked to me like that. I would want to think she was teasing, but it would be hard for me not to feel like she was tooling my ass.
Just remember to build up to your teasing and even when you get them playing along, you need to cycle it between teasing, vibing, and rapport building. This is ESPECIALLY true if the woman put her guard down and came onto you. In this case reward her with at least some light rapport before amping up the hard core teasing. Early in an interaction keep the teasing general and as you get to know each other/she is receptive/she is comfortable, start getting more specific.
Don’t sweat this. Anyone who is good at flirting with women has made this exact mistake tons of times. I personally have made this exact mistake hundreds of times and still occasionally mess things up with women by pushing to hard. Oh well, this is how you learn. If you want to make an omelet, you’re going to have to crack some eggs.
What did you guys think about this post? Comment below and let me know.
Like this post? Check out these posts from Dating Coach Braddock…..
How to Get Good With Women Fast
[...] made an even more in depth explanation on my blog: Push/Pull gone wrong I also suggest that you read this: How to flirt using push/pull __________________ View Full [...]
You should definitely write up an article on subtexts. Would be a sick read and not that many people know about it either.
Hey would this also work if you messaged the girl? Like if you added her then could you message her with a compliment? then work your way into teasing her and stuff or should you just start off teasing her?
I feel the same way. My friend always drags us for a girls night out and then she wines about not meeting anyone. hehehehe… So I’m guess this is the answer to why no guy will just approach us. I’m definitely going to have her read this post of yours. =)
[...] With Women: Push/Pull Gone Wrong Link to original post: Braddock's Blog Flirting With Women: Push/Pull Gone Wrong Get Adobe Flash player Flirting With Women: Push/Pull Gone Wrong 12/27/09Filed under: Pickup [...]