In your early twenties? Read. -post by Sterling
An interesting thing happens when people hit their early twenties. Many, caught up in budding careers, enter a phase where work becomes a disproportionately big part of life, free time is primarily “relief,” and hanging out takes up smaller and smaller portions of the day. No one would argue that this turn of events isn’t ideal, but the basic rationale of “I need to eat,” at it’s laziest and “I want to be successful,” at its best, keeps the show rolling.
Now I can’t speak for every case in point of how this affects the lives of fresh college graduates, or others in their early twenties, but I can reflect on my own situation. And the way I see it, had 2010 and my involvement in Love Systems never happened, my life would have dribbled down one of the following two paths:
The path of many of my college friends: I would essentially have told myself that if I were to act like I were still in college, that things would still be like they were when I was in college. I would frequent establishments on Thursday nights which would be eerily similar to the college bars back home (more than a few come to mind around NYC), hung around friends from school, and taken solace in collectively being comfortable. Hell, every once in a while, we’d probably all get together and go on a week vacation to some beach somewhere or to some music festival some place.
Work? Well, work would be work, just like class was class. And the second I was off the clock, I might as well have been leaving the classroom. As the years rolled on, I would have done alright at some 9-5 job, frequented the city’s happy hours, and hung out with friends from my past. But while the extension of school is comforting to some degree, the fact of the matter is that deep down, everyone would know that things aren’t quite as fun as they were when we were all back in school.
Where would I have been in 5 years?
More than likely, after a few years, people would eventually start “settling down.” That same bar every Thursday might have been fun for a few months, and even a few years, but eventually people would tire. I would have probably settled down with a girlfriend (she would not have been a dime but she would probably have been cute enough). Shortly after, at the onset of my late twenties, I would have probably joined the club that reminisces about “crazy college days” or how “life used to be.”
I would get married by 30, live in a decent house, have kids, be relatively happy, etc… I can go on, but it’s pretty clear where this story goes.
The path I probably would have ended up on: I would be working at the same investment bank I am now, and I would have wrapped myself up in my job, just like everyone else in the industry – and I know for certain that I would have bought in to some degree the culture that comes with. In this situation, work would become all-consuming, and not in a good way.
As things stand, almost all my time is spent working, but moreover, because I am working so much there is the temptation to let every other component of my personality fall by the way-side. At the end of the day, I can blame it all on being “too busy.” The temptation is here, and had the past year worked out differently, chances are I would have given into it.
The industry, similar as to those working in law and to some degree medicine, would cushion all this by internally creating a sense of prestige, productivity and accomplishment, and by padding checking accounts with greater-than-average greenery.
A clear path to relative wealth would have been laid out in front of me, and I would have gunned down it with little concern for much else. That path would have looked something like this: two years investment banking – $150k per year. Two years in private equity – $250k a year. Go back to business school for 2 years – pay $200k. Go back into private equity – $500k a year. Hit partner by 30, cash in a couple mil each year forward. Revel and live in the delusion of success. Done.
Where would I have been in 5 years?
Well, I’m 23 now, so at 28, according to “the schedule,” I would be on the cusp of graduating from business school. And that’s about it. I would have had a relatively bloated checking account, and in return, I would have essentially worked away the greater of my twenties. Forget happy hours, pool parties, and spontaneous trips. Forget much more than a week or two of vacation per year, and forget developing much depth of personality. So while I would have had the appearance of success, and while I would have undoubtedly been seen as “successful,” it wouldn’t really amount to much more than a thin veneer and some money in the bank.
I would probably get married. At some point I would take out a mortgage in a nice neighborhood, raise a family, and again, everything would have been a bit nicer (and more expensive) than in the other scenario, but the rest of the story would be relatively similar.
The grey zone.
As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “better is it to dare mighty things than to live in the grey area that knows neither victory nor defeat.” Interestingly, while both paths above are definitely different, they both represent lives that sleep in this grey area.
The truth?
The average guy who goes down the first path was probably a B student in college, and will probably be a B person in life. He might have lived an A social life in college, but that faded with graduation. And as a B student would, there is a part of him that realizes his life isn’t great, but that it’s not bad either, and surely not bad enough to warrant any change.
The average guy who goes down the second path most definitely was an A student in college, and by that level of measurement (intelligence, analytics, quantifiable success), he will fight with everything he has to be an A person in life. In truth he likely lived a B social life in college (notwithstanding exceptions), but that will surely drop down to a C… D… and so forth as the years roll on.
Thoughts…
First path: Person 1
Person 1 just never gave a damn. And that’s quite alright. If everyone shot for the stars, it would become the norm, and no one would actually be there. I will happily let him live his existence, he’s happy enough, and he’s not causing anyone harm. But when it comes to influencing my outlook, and my path and purpose, he can fuck off.
Second path: Person 2
Person 2 is more interesting, but still flawed. While he may think the path he is on is one of success, the reality of the situation is that it may be success, but just in one measurement – financial. However, unlike many others who strive to be well-off through other fields, person 2 is placed in an environment where he is restricted in the development of any other sense of his persona. That is, he works so much that he soon loses his ability to have fluid, engaging or emotionally deep conversation (if it doesn’t concern work or his ‘path’), amongst other things.
So while Person 2 can think critically and analytically better than anyone else… that’s about it. On a weekend, away of his office getup and $200 bespoke shirt / Ferragamo penny loafers, he dresses like he’s given up on life, and in truth, for every social instance outside of work and old friends, he pretty much has. His crime isn’t that he is necessarily a bad person – he isn’t – or that he’s not productive and hard working – he for damn sure is. Rather, his greatest flaw is that he is specialized in being analytical, and noting else. To the rest of the world, he is a fucking bore.
Sadly, the industry-created culture of perceived prestige, success and big paychecks will keep him in a reality that tells him everyone is lazy, life couldn’t get better, and that there isn’t more to it. In addition to his designer prescription glasses, he is also unknowingly rocking a pair of blinders which narrow his social perception.
So how has Love Systems changed things?
I got into this because I wanted to bang hotter girls. That was it. But I am now certain that when it’s all said and done, the greatest impact this company will have had in my life will not be in the looks of the girl that’s in my bed, but in the path I had to carve out to consistently get to her, and girls just like her.
Through the Love Systems network, and by the very nature of the teachings the company stands for, I have come to realize that true success is not measured strictly in financial terms, nor is it measured in social terms. Instead, it’s the full package. It has to all be there. Supernova.
And it’s that very concept that has guided me off the path that I would otherwise have been on. I realized that it would have been literally impossible to become the person I wanted to become when if I was spending 80 hours of the week working, regardless of how much money was being thrown into my checking account (and to be honest, relatively, it’s not really that much).
I see the amazing things that Braddock & Co. are pulling off in LA, and the successful life-stories of many a seminar student, and it is impossible to not push for the same. Love Systems has inadvertently removed the blinders and showed the possibility of a life that is successful in every aspect – the true definition of success. And while I haven’t quit my job… yet… I most definitely won’t be making a life-long career out of this – and I will make sure that decision does not come at a long-term financial sacrifice either.
I used to think that one had to choose – either you be a bum that parties all the time, or you work hard and make money. But now I realize the two are not mutually exclusive, that you can be financially successful with a thriving social life, though it does require a bit more risk, and just as much hard work. I’ll take those odds any day. As I see it, success is already tee’d up… I just need to hit the ball.
And the takeaway for you?
Realize that there is another (in this case, a third) path. This path isn’t necessarily defined by one particular job or profession (though it will undoubtedly exclude a few), but rather the end goal and overall perspective. Aim to see the bigger picture in your life. Instead of just making it your goal to get a promotion or raise, see the promotion as one more piece in the puzzle of building your broader life, and not the only piece.
Too many people let other areas in their life fall off the map as they get older. It’s the reason why so many guys in their late twenties are lazy and out of shape, just like it’s the reason why so many guys working in finance let almost all their out-side work social skills degenerate. If you’re a champion in one area, but mediocre in everything else, you can tell yourself whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is that you aren’t truly successful.
And at the end of the day, it all comes back down to just being the best person you can possibly be.
-Sterling
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