Dating Tips: The Most Effective Habit Part 1 by Texas
The Most Effective Habit: Part I
Tenet #2: Separate your emotions from your identity. This is a skill set, not the measure of a man.
If y’all don’t know what it’s like to walk home empty-handed at 2 am wondering where ya went wrong, stop reading. This ain’t gonna make sense.
But if you’re frustrated and stuck, burned-out and de-motivated, or confused and starving for results, stay with me. I know that feeling. I’ve been blown out in every stage you can think of, more times than I can count. I’ve been roughed up by bouncers, shoved by girls, and randomly run into ex-girlfriends who hate my guts. I know what it’s like to talk to a girl thinking some amalgamation of “Open-Transition-Attract-Qualify-Oh Shit She’s Stopped Paying Attention-Tease More-She’s Not Laughing, Now She’s Leaving To Find Her Friends-There She Is Making Out With A Guy She Just Met. Damn.”
Sound familiar? I have no idea where I lost it or what the takeaway is. Maybe I need to read more and work harder. Maybe I need to relax more and be myself. Maybe this whole game just ain’t for me.
I’m laughing as I type this ‘cuz of how often this happened to me.
Get that shit outta your head. I’ve been breaking down naturals and those who learned game and they all got one habit in common: Discernment. Internalize what I’m about to say, and it’s like turning on God Mode at the club. Discernment in this context means understanding what is – and more importantly, what is NOT – in my control. If something is in your control, leverage and improve it. If it’s not, don’t give a fuck and implement a technique I call the “Shrug and Smile.” Since I love my readers, I created a complicated flow chart to illustrate this innovative concept:
Example:
You: “Excuse me. You’re gorgeous, and I would have kicked myself if I didn’t come over to let you know. What’s your name?”
Her: “Fuck off, I’m a lesbian.”
[End scene]
Now let’s break this down. You go in there and say exactly what you meant to say (notice the absence of stutters), and she lies about being a lesbian.
Bad Response: “What did I do wrong? Why does this always happen to me? Am I doomed to suck with girls? I’m too old/young/unconfident/nerdy/depressed/tired/[any adjective] Why can’t I be a total badass like Texas? (Ok, that last one was totally understandable)
Good Response: “Damn did she say ‘fuck’ and ‘lesbian’ in the same sentence?! That’s hot, but hmm… did I go in with strong Body Language on that one? Did I have the look of nonchalance on my face? Did I use a powerful tone ? Kinda sucks she react- oh shit, there’s another hottie. Let’s try again.”
So that’s great, Texas. Tell me something I don’t know. I’ve read it a million times, but you know it’s easier said than done. How do I do it?
Glad you asked. For the next few days, pause your brain once in every interaction (every time you talk to someone, every email you send, anytime you make an excuse) and simply think “What’s in my control here?”
Don’t change your behavior; just get in the habit of thinking it.
Once you’ve done that, tune in for my next post. I’m gonna show ya how to decide what is in your control, what’s not, how it changes over time, and the surprising impact it has beyond game.
-Texas
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