How to get advanced game by Dating Coach Nick Hoss 4 of 5
SHOW MORE INTEREST
Most of us started out showing WAY too much interest up front. We were the definition of needy. It repelled women because internally we were needy guys.
Once we learned some Dating Tips and social dynamics skills and how attraction worked, we started going through a metamorphosis, and that neediness resolved itself into strength. When we flirt with women nowadays, we aren’t seen as needy, we are seen as any combination of bold instead of flimsy (more ballsy/direct openers), sexual instead of creepy (stating your intentions) or caring instead of supplicating (giving those once “needy” compliments).
Again, it’s the hue that is painted onto the action. (The “frame.”) Once you go through the process of change and come into alignment with your new self, most times your actions are painted from an attractive hue.
Here’s a funny thing that happens in your progression as well. Average girls, or more accurately, girls who perceive themselves as average, will blow you out more often. After the Dating Tips you learn at bootcamp your getting minor results with these women, then you get awesome results with them as you improve, and finally you go back to mixed results. This happens because you thin slice so sharp and are intrinsically so cool that the average girl can’t envision herself with you. Tease her hard and often like a really hot girl, and her ego kicks in and she’ll blow you out before she thinks you’ll blow her out. What’s worse than aligning with a weak, beta guy? Aligning with a strong, alpha guy who dumps you for somebody better, crushing your Soul in the process. The same mechanism that once unconsciously told her you weren’t good enough now tells her that you’re too good. It’s ego protection. If you know what to do though, you can actually use this to your advantage.
Caveat: these strategies will help you reach a new level of success, but don’t be surprised if you get blown out a little more as well. Call it the 80/20 or call it the difference between hitting fly balls and home runs, consider part of the process.
Part of breaking through that intermediate stage is reading people (i.e. “calibration”). When your game gets to a certain point, you can often be the “nice guy” with the average girl, just remember to inject sexuality into the conversation. It actually becomes easy, and ultimately, you’ll hit a point where these average women don’t fulfill you because they aren’t much of a challenge… unless that isn’t a problem for you in the short-term.
FORGET THE RULES
Talk about the stuff you want to talk about, call because you genuinely like her, give her an ultra-forward compliment because it’s on your mind. She’ll bath in it if you can back up what you’re saying. When you get really good at implementing the Dating Tips we teach, you can get thin sliced into the 9 or 10 guy category by hot women, which means you’ve passed through her shit test radar. She can already smell that you are capable… it’s just a matter of how capable.
It’s like getting into an exclusive nightclub. The people who aren’t cool enough get stopped at a door; they don’t even get a chance. However, the ones that do get in are already cool enough; they come with the pre-requisites (money, status, connections, etc.), and those pre-requisites mean they have the status, and the status gets them the pre-requisites. (“Breaking into the circle.”) When you’re talking with a woman one on one, your thin slice is in part due to having that pre-requisite. After that, it’s a matter of how deep that slice runs. She doesn’t need to see more icing on top—that’s already been assumed. Of course, part of being that inherently cool guy is teasing other people and being playful; you’ll just have it on autopilot, so don’t over do it.
Chances are that if you’re getting into extended conversations with the most attractive women in the bar you’ve got a great thin slice already, you don’t need to game more—although there will be times to turn it on—you need to concentrate on developing your lifestyle so talking about it in a normal way makes your ultra-cool life seem like an everyday thing. She wants to meet a guy who will be cool every time she is with him, but this coolness is inherent to how he lives. It’s within him, engrained and always there—cool is natural. There are a million guys out there who can bring it for five minutes.
Nick Hoss is one of the few instructors who teaches Day and Night Game. To read more from him, check out his blog, www.nickhoss.com. He is also active on Twitter, @LS_NickHoss.
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I think this is a good reminder to me that in order to get a woman of value, I have to be a man of value.
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