07/22/11Filed under: Dating Tips, Interviews, Pickup

Dating Coach Braddock and Vercetti continue elaborating from the previous question:

 

How would you get her to talk about her passions when she doesn’t feel like talking about it at that moment in time?

 

 

Braddock explains how some people can try getting into deep rapport too early. He explains how you also must not go too heavy with the question. For example if you open a girl, tease her, then out of nowhere ask a question like “What are you passionate about?” Asking that question is going too heavy and is too early. An important note Braddock makes is to be conversationally relevant to the environment. For example, if Braddock is in a club with loud music and you cannot hear much, he will keep the conversation superficial with light teases, sexual escalation, moving her somewhere, etc. He would not ask something like “What are you passionate about?” in a loud environment like that.

 

In conclusion, if she doesn’t feel like Opening up, it means that you either went deep too early or you don’t have enough attraction.

 

The next question mentioned: How do you get her to talk about her passions in a way to make her do 90% of the work by emotionally investing you?

 

Dating Coach Vercetti mentions that deep rapport is give and take. Especially when you come into comfort, if you are not willing to open up and invest yourself into her, then you cannot expect her to do the same thing. The guy needs to lead first and encourage her to open up. Braddock then mentions a woman doing 90 percent of the work by emotionally investing in you is absurd, and not feasible.

 

Braddock mentions to get her to open up more, you must be non-judgmental.

The steps Braddock gives is:

-       Be non-judgmental about whatever she says

-       Ask follow up questions that show you are concerned and interested to know more

-       If you need to, relate to it.

- Tease every once in a while so it doesn’t go stale.

For example, if a girl talks about her family and mentions she is close to her dad and that her dad died, then Braddock would talk about how his dad died recently. (NOTE: THIS IS TRUE, SO DO NOT LIE AND MAKE UP THINGS TO RELATE TO HER) This helps them emotionally connect and more trust is gained. You do not want to make her feel like you are judging her or rejecting her. Braddock also mentions that deep rapport enables you to find out crazy facts about girls that can save you 6 months to a year in your time. For example, Braddock found out some things on day 1 with girls, which let him know that they are not relationship material.

 

Vercetti mentions that the more you open someone up, she will open up. He mentions that if a guy is holding back with Opening up, she wont cross the boundaries either. So 90 percent is an absurd number, and can never be assumed. Vercetti mentions an example with a woman he had a relationship with. He mentioned that he felt a barrier from her Opening up, which disabled him from Opening up to her as well. He told her that unless they can move past that, then there is no future in their relationship, so Vercetti made it clear that he was not going to judge her. Braddock then mentions that the biggest fear we all have is the fear of not being enough. Being rejected when being you is scary, as opposed to being rejected as a superficial person is not so frightening.

 

Braddock also mentions a key tenet of deep rapport is giving people a feeling that they are being understood. The more someone understands you, the more you want to open up, especially on deep topics.

 

Vercetti warns that if you want same night lays or casual relationships that YOU DON’T NEED DEEP RAPPORT. If you do it non-genuine, then you can end up hurting people. Braddock mentions you must be careful when developing deep rapport and that you can end up hurting people if executed insincerely. It is also a one-way ticket to the friend zone.

 

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