Inner Game Friday: 8 Strategies to Get Leverage on Yourself
It’s Inner Game Friday Again…
Greetings from Vienna! It is cold as balls here, but otherwise this is one of the coolest cities I’ve ever been to. The architecture is just amazing, and I’m a history nerd so checking out the various historical sites and museums has been really fun. Having to trek through the fucking sleet and snow to get to all these places I think has made it that much more exciting. There’s just a real cool sense of adventure being in a place you have never been before trying to navigate through it with nothing but your map and your brainpower. A special thank you to the countless number of people I have bugged for directions during this vacation is probably in order as well .
Anyways, lets talk about inner game. Today I wanted to discuss the importance of leverage for your inner game, and some things you can do to help give yourself the leverage you need to achieve the goals you have set for yourself in game. Without leverage, without strong enough reason to lead you into taking action, nothing difficult or challenging ever gets accomplished. This is often because we allow our evolutionary mind to think and act for us. Let’s be clear, in an evolutionary sense, your brain has one goal for your life- stay alive at all costs. While your brain’s obsession with your survival is helpful in many ways, it is also the biggest hurdle standing between you and your goals in life. Understand that your brain doesn’t give a shit if you are happy or fulfilled in life.
Again your brain’s only goal is to keep you alive at all costs. Your brain simply understands that in most cases the best way to keep you alive is to keep you safely nestled on your couch playing video games while life passes you by. The last thing your brain ever wants for you is to explore the unknown and potentially put yourself in harm’s way. Your brain only sees dreams and aspirations as potential catalysts for disaster, and it will therefore do everything it can to keep you from taking action to pursuit these things.
We have all been tricked by our brain to keep us from acting at some point or another. Our brain can stifle us by releasing chemicals into our body that can make us tired or afraid, and of course it also does a wonderful job helping us rationalize why we should avoid taking right action, why we should pass up on opportunities, and why we should procrastinate in general.
Often times, will power alone isn’t strong enough to keep the temptation to stay in our comfort zone at bay, so we have to come up with different strategies to keep us moving even when there’s that part of us that doesn’t want to push it. That’s where leverage comes in. Leverage is the powerful force we use to help move us forward past our comfort zones. With enough leverage, things we couldn’t achieve on will power alone now become very doable. Below are 8 things I do to get leverage on myself to act even when I feel like being lazy.
8 Inner Game Strategies to Get Leverage on Yourself to Work on Your Game
1. Create a positive/negative outcome list for what will happen if you do or do not achieve your goals- This is a classic Tony Robbins conditioning exercise. In everything in life, human beings are conditioned to either move towards pleasure or run away from pain. Along with survival, pleasure and pain are the strongest driving forces in our lives. With a strong enough desire for pleasure or fear of pain we can’t help but take action. So with that in mind, what kind of pleasure or pain can we expect from whether or not we reach our goals in game?
Get out a piece of paper and start asking yourselves questions like ‘What kind of pleasure will I feel if I develop myself to the point where I can attract the women of my dreams? What would my life be like? What would my life be like if I quit game, and went back to my old life? Would that life be something that would satisfy me or that I would be proud of? What kind of pain would I experience if I didn’t live up to my potential?
What are the other positive outcomes that can come from me working on myself besides attracting women? What will I miss out on not just with women but in life if I chose to stop working on myself? What are some of the big picture consequences of my actions? What will my kids turn out like if I do or do not continue on towards my goals in self-development?’
List your responses to these kinds of questions and go back to your answers on a regular basis to help your brain link enough pleasure to taking correct action and enough pain to the idea of giving up that you have no choice to continue after your goals no matter what.
2. Have an ultimate purpose girl made up in your mind- Take the time to imagine that absolute dream girl. What she looks like, what her personality is like, what kind of role she plays in your life. Use that image to move you forward, and get you to take action when you are feeling resistance. Don’t use some random girl from high school you had a crush on or anything like that. Take the time to dream big here. THE ABSOLUTE DREAM GIRL.
Something I used to do that I should probably start up again is spending 10 minutes each day visualizing what it would be like to go out and pick that girl up off cold approach. Your mind isn’t able to tell the difference between actual experience and intense visualization so think about the affects spending a period of time every day picking up the girl of dreams can have on your self-development.
3. Promise yourself you will give game enough time to rewire your neuro-pathways- The only way to never need to depend on will power again to work hard is to completely rewire your mind to take pleasure in chasing after what you want in life. From what I understand, it takes about 2 months of constantly performing a new habit (while also linking pleasure to the habit by rewarding yourself) in order for the habit to become set in your head as a permanent source of pleasure. The only way for the neuro-pathways for cold-approaching women to become set as a pleasure giving habit is to do it consistently for an extended period of time. When you are getting started in game especially, I highly recommend you spend a period of time where you are going out into field a RIDICULOUS amount to help create the habit.
4. Have bad nights in field- For me, there is nothing that motivates me more to go back out into field and hit it hard than a bad night. Before I elaborate, I want to emphasize to you guys to be sure not to beat yourself up and dwell on bad beliefs after a bad night. Its ok to think about some things you can improve on and do differently, but never obsess over the negative. Focus on the positive, and train your brain to identify with the positive actions you take each night. With that said, definitely let that fire in you burn like crazy after a bad night. Use it to fuel a motivating inner-dialogue, and have it lead you into taking right action. One of the habits I’m most proud of is that if I go out with friends and things aren’t going well and they decide to go home, I’ll drop them off and then go hit another club without even telling them.
I just allow myself to get so worked up that I can’t let myself quit. I will literally be driving in my car to another club saying to myself over and over, ‘Fuck this. I’m going to the bitter fucking end tonight. I don’t care how long it takes. I will pull.’ Again don’t beat yourselves up! Even if I don’t wind up pulling that night, I focus on the positive intensely so my subconscious mind becomes increasingly conditioned to link pleasure to right action, and myself self-dialogue is an endless string of ‘I’m so proud of you. Everyone went home and you could’ve quit, but you pushed it as hard as you could tonight. These are the type of habits that lead to great things.’
5. Burn your boats- When got into cold approach he took every number of every girl he knew in his phone and deleted it. He had decided right then and there that he was going to achieve mastery at cold approach or die trying.
If you have that ex-girlfriend you keep going back to every time you’re feeling down, or you are still holding onto the idea that if that girl from high school becomes single you can date her- CUT IT. Commit yourself fully to this journey, and for the sake of achieving the life you deserve cut out all the bullshit that is holding you back from going balls to the wall.
6. Say goodbye to your Naughty America subscription- Alright this idea is admittedly a little off the wall, but it works for me so I’m going to share it…. The human sex drive is funny. Its one of the strongest driving forces in our body, but this overwhelming impulse to reproduce can be completely defused without a mate thanks to masturbation. Oddly, our brains don’t seem realize that when we rub one out watching porn we are doing absolutely nothing for our reproduction value.
While jerking it feels good, I feel like a guy sacrifices a ton of potential energy from cumming without sex. I think the energy that comes from a guy’s sex drive can be used more usefully by helping to fuel him when he was out interacting with women in real life. So with that in mind, I very rarely masturbate because I want all the power of my sex-drive to be moving me towards getting laid when I go out. Whether or not this helps you I can’t guarantee, but it helps me a ton and its also enhanced my overall sex life.
7. Kick ass in other important areas of your life- A lot of times working on game forces you to put other aspects of our lives on the back-burner. At the same time, however, fueling other areas of your life with positive momentum can be huge for providing you with leverage to get your situation with women under control.
For example, wouldn’t that six-pack you worked so hard to get be even more satisfying if some hot girl you met at the club was running her hands under your shirt practically drooling at the feel of it? What’s the value in having that new awesome ass car if you aren’t driving girls back to your place in it? Money and looks don’t get the girls by themselves guys. Game always comes first. Use the desire to share and show off all the cool shit in your life with women push you towards working on your game.
8. Change the language you use to describe game- This is sampled again off Tony Robbins. When I think about game, some phrases that come to mind for me include: ultimate adventure, indescribable glory, celebration of me, identity changing, self-esteem building, self-actualizing, most fun thing in the world, and ultimate win-win relationships.
I think some guys describe game to themselves as being a grind, being scary, impossible, or embarrassing. They might think they are going out and trying to put on a song and dance for girls that isn’t authentic or maybe they feel pressured to try to impress their friends with their pick-up skills or tons of other bullshit. Start using exciting language to describe game. Write a list of positive ways to look at your game, and refer to it to fire you up and get you moving. Again, the more pleasure you can link to taking right action, the more leverage you will put on yourself to achieve your goals in life.
Hope these help you gain leverage guys. I’m off to Budapest tomorrow. Please leave comments and questions below!
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