A Year in Reflection Part 2- My 4 Biggest Inner-Game Goals for the New Year
I’m pumped for this article. I’m going to be as open as I can with you guys in this, and share with you some of the biggest shifts I’m going to be trying to make in my head over the course of the next year. The stuff I’m sharing with you guys is pretty damn personal. As I wrote, I was able to look back over the course of my life and see where I have struggled with some of the ideas below for years and years. With that said, however, it’s awesome to know I have control over the beliefs listed below. I used to think my bad beliefs were permanent flaws in my personality, but first hand experience has taught me that I am free to change everything about my beliefs and my identity. It’s going to be awesome looking back on this article in the future, and seeing how much I have grown since first writing this.
Anyways, let’s get started:
1. Belief: It has to be earned EVERY DAY
While having a sense of entitlement is MASSIVELY important, I personally have a tendency to feel a sense of over-entitlement when I have been kicking ass at something for a reasonable period of time. In game for example, if I have a handful of good nights in a row I sometimes think I don’t need to go out again the next night because I’ve earned a break, or if I do go out I don’t need to make as much of an effort to bring the girl value and good emotions. I feel entitled to the point where I don’t think I need to make an effort in the interaction, and the girl should still love the shit out of me. When I start to get this way, my game obviously starts to go south and it leads to unproductive nights.
The second you start to think you don’t have to work anymore to get the reward, you have fucked yourself. You will instantly start to lose your sharpness. While this principle will inevitably be fully internalized with enough wake-up calls, I’m going to commit myself in the next year to waking up every day with a sense of ‘Today is totally independent of any other day in my life. The rewards of today have to be earned. ‘
2. Concept: Creating Empowering Blind Spots
I’m a super logical guy. One of my biggest strengths is my ability to break down problems and come up with logical conclusions on how to solve them. I’m passionate about being able to think logically. This is great in some cases as its helps me figure out how I can grow and in improve. Its also my most powerful tool in my professional career. The problem is that I sometimes limit how empowering of a belief system I can have due to my minds obsession to think logically.
I’m going to put an emphasis in 2013 on adopting and internalizing empowering beliefs even if my mind tries to persist that the belief isn’t 100% logical.
One belief I have pretty much completely internalized this year is, ‘There’s no reason why I’m not enough for ANY girl.’ My logical mind protested this belief for a while, but with a great deal of persistence I have been able to almost completely create the blind spot that there isn’t a girl out there I’m not enough for. It might be delusional, but I believe it none the less.
However, my mind still won’t let me blindly accept beliefs like if Mila Kunis was at the club tonight, surrounded by 100 awesome guys, I could still approach her, even accidentally spill my drink on her, and I would STILL more likely than not be able to pull her back to my place at the end of the night. Right now, I can’t just turn my logical mind on and off whenever I feel like creating crazy blind spots in my world view. I do believe its possible, however, to condition myself to where I can create empowering blind spots without my logical mind altering my perception. The more empowering blind spots I can create, the more successful I’ll be. One of my goals for 2013 is to get closer to a level where I can implement empowering blind spots wherever I see fit.
3. Belief: ‘I am totally independent and indifferent of the good or bad opinions of others’
Growing up, I was really good at basketball. Even though I was short, not particularly quick, and couldn’t jump high, I practiced so hard on my own that I developed really impressive skills at a very young age. I had a great jump-shot, and I KNEW IT. I was never afraid to jack it up from anywhere on the court no matter what. In high school, however, a collection of different factors led me to losing a lot of confidence in my game. I adopted a lot of bad beliefs during that time, the biggest one being that if I missed a lot of shots in a game, everyone would get pissed at me and think I wasn’t good at basketball. Practically overnight, I went from having the best jump-shot out of anyone I knew, to being scared shitless of being left open in a game and having to take a shot. No matter how hard I practiced I couldn’t get past the negative beliefs holding me back from playing up to my true potential.
A fear of being judged in a negative light by others is still one of my biggest inner-game struggles. It has taken on some pretty crazy manifestations when it comes to game, particularly when I was first getting started and my inner-game was really weak. At one point, I didn’t like bringing girls home, because I worried whether or not my roommates would think she was hot if they saw her.
I’ve obviously worked past a number of those senseless worries this year, but I still think I could improve in this area a ton. I still find myself sometimes becoming self-conscious when I notice other people in a venue notice me interacting with a girl (whether the interaction is going good or bad isn’t relevant). I find myself wondering, ‘Damn I wonder if there are people in this venue who see me every night and think I’m the biggest player ever,’ or worse if I’m having a bad night I think, ‘Holy shit I hope there aren’t people in here who see me getting blown out of set after set and they think I’m the biggest loser ever.’
In 2013, in I want to get to the point where the nights I find myself being self-conscious about what random people think simply don’t happen anymore.
4. Concept: Love Myself Like I’m My Own Son
Alright this concept is still in its infancy, but I think it’s the absolute most bad ass concept ever so I wanted to share with you guys what the foundation of this concept is, and how I’m building on it.
I was driving back to Vegas after visiting my family, and I began thinking about what are more ways I can get myself to take right action every time no matter what. Particularly with things like having a healthy diet, I fuck up A TON. I thought, ‘I have strong will-power, I have strong beliefs, self-esteem, etc, but I still find myself not taking right action EVERY TIME. Aside from building on what I already have, what else can I do to take more right action?’
While I was thinking about this, I paused and randomly thought about how awesome of a dad I’m going to be one day. I thought about how I would love my son so much, and I would do everything I could to raise him to take right action every time. No matter what sort of challenges me or my son faced, I would ALWAYS be there for him. I would never stop doing everything I could to help him grow, because I would love him more than anything. With such a strong and loving support system like that, how could my kid not take right action EVERY TIME?
That’s when I realized how powerful it would be if I adopted the mindset of ‘I love MYSELF like I’m my own son.’ It might sound a little weird, but think about the decisions you would make if you loved yourself like you were your own son. If your inner-dialogue was an endless stream of, ‘Look, *Your Name*, I know this is hard, but I love you more than anything else in life and I need you to take right action here.’ How different would the decisions you make be? Seriously, take a second to think about this: If you truly loved yourself more intensely than anything else in the world, would you eat shit food? Would you ever skip going to the gym? Would you ever let yourself avoid taking right action? HELL NO. Love is the strongest emotion there is, and people do amazing things despite all kinds of adversity in the name of love. I really do believe that the biggest single key to taking right action every time is that sense of self love that just refuses to let you give up on yourself EVER. So in 2013, I want work towards building a sense of self-love that’s so deep that right action becomes the only thing I’m capable of.
Hope this helps guys. And with all that said, HOLY SHIT ITS NEW YEARS WEEKEND!!!! Hope you all tear it up, and have an awesome new year.
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