How to talk to girls: Basic Steps to Becoming Awesome at Teasing
Teasing: The Basics of How to Talk To Girls
Happy Halloween Guys!
In the 6 Biggest Misconceptions About Attraction post we discussed how guys like are awesome at using teasing and push/pull to generate attraction. If you haven’t taken a bootcamp, however, you might be thinking ‘I understand that teasing is good, but HOW do I tease?’
On Lovesystems bootcamps, instructors teach something called ‘trigger words.’ ‘Trigger words’ were invented by Braddock, and they are the absolute best tool to learning how to have more natural and organic conversation in set. They are also great for teaching you how to tease and get good with push/pull. We can’t outline all of ‘trigger words’ here, but I can give you some guidance on how to you should start thinking about teasing.
When learning how to talk to girls, I can assure you 95% of guys you see in the club are either not teasing at all or are not teasing correctly. Have you ever tried teasing a girl, and it just came off as clunky or awkward? Don’t be discouraged. Learning to tease correctly is like learning an instrument. It can be clunky at first, but if you learn to train properly and continue to practice, you gradually develop the skills needed to make music. Today, I’m going to give you some basic steps you can take to get your teasing on point so that you will have girls rolling in the aisles, and consequently becoming super attracted to you. Lets get started!
Basic Steps to Teasing
When a girl tells you something or you observe something about a girl you want to tease, coming up with the tease is a two-step process:
2. Tease the second layer/exaggerate
Lets break these steps down.
Step 1- Stereotype
As you master how to talk to girls, you can tease a girl for just about anything: Where she’s from, her job, her hobbies, why she is at the club, etc. Its important to be careful not to tease so hard that you offend the girl, but learning to calibrate your teasing only comes through trial and error. Inevitably, if you are really working hard to learn this, there will be times where girls are going to get pissed off at you. When it happens, don’t worry about it. Just keep in mind that teasing should always be meant to be fun, and never hurtful.
So lets say you are talking to a girl and she says shes from San Francisco and you want to tease that. Step 1 would be to think of some stereotypes about San Francisco and the people who live there.
This part is easy. When thinking of stereotypes, Braddock says a good way to come up with your list is to, ’Close your eyes and imagine your mind is google. Then do a google images search on the thing you want to tease, and list everything you see.’
So for example, some things that come to my mind when I think about San Francisco:
Gay pride parades
Golden Gate Bridge
49ers football team
Left winged politics
You will notice that nothing I listed above is particularly funny in itself. Braddock says that when you’re coming up with stereotypes, its totally fine for the things you come up with to be completely logical. Step 2 is where we start to come up with actual content we will use to tease.
While most guys are able to stereotype, they make the mistake of trying to tease a girl simply by stating the stereotype. DO NOT JUST STATE THE STEREOTYPE
Guy: So where are you from?
Monique: I’m from San Francisco
Guy: Oh you are probably a hippy then
Monique: Um no.
While this isn’t horrendous, notice how there isn’t any edge or much humor to simply stating a stereotype. Undoubtedly, she has heard this line a thousand times before. You’re objective (and what will set you apart from other guys), is going to be your ability to tease the second layer.
Step 2- Tease the Second Layer
Learning to tease beyond simply stating the stereotype is going to be what makes your teasing stand out. Some instructors will call teasing past the obvious stereotype ‘teasing the second layer.’
There are tons of ways to tease the second layer but what I want to focus on in this post is taking the stereotype, blowing it out of proportion, and then putting that blown out of proportion stereotype onto the girl.
So looking at the list we made in step 1, you might be able to see some good categories for building teases. For me, the most obvious stereotype is ‘hippy.’
So I’m going to exaggerate things I know about hippies and put those exaggerated details onto her.
Lets take a look at how I would put this into action:
I open Monique and she responds warmly. We exchange some random banter, and since she’s been warm so far I am confident teasing her would be well received.
Neverender: Where are you from Monique?
Monique: San Francisco
Neverender: Ah San Francisco? Ok that would explain why I saw you trying to form a drum circle by the bar earlier
Monique: Hahaha! I was not doing that!
Neverender: Look, the music in this club is fine Monique. Aviciii is performing tonight and we don’t need you running around the club trying to put on a hippy jam festival
Monique: Shut up! I’m not a hippy and I love Avicii!
Neverender: So where are you from?
Monique: San Francisco
Neverender: Oh cool, I’m assuming that was your tie-dye van I saw parked outside the club? Hey does that thing come with GPS?
Monique: hahahaha you’re so stupid. It did actually come with GPS, but I needed somewhere to hide my weed so I had it taken out.
In both examples, I can tell based on her reaction that the tease was well received. The theme of her being a hippy is now something I can recycle throughout the night. We go back to having normal conversation. Do some qualification/comfort stuff, and then I’ll randomly bring up the hippy theme again.
So 5 minutes later after she qualifies herself on something cool, and I have related to It I might say something like.
Neverender: But yeah that’s awesome… you know you’re actually pretty cool. I’m glad you took the night off from hugging trees and smoking peace pipes to come hang out.
Monique: I hate you so much
Do you see how much more powerful this is than if we simply stated stuff like
‘Oh you must be a hippy’
‘Oh I bet you smoke marijuana’
‘Oh I bet you are left-winged’
Teasing on the second layer is what will make your teasing awesome.
Braddock is far and away the best when it comes to this stuff. Here are a few examples of his material. Its important to point out that you don’t need to sit at home and memorize these teases like they are routines. While Braddock may use some of the teases listed below over and over with various girls, its coming from a natural place, and even if he hears something unique that most girls don’t say, his teasing muscles are strong enough to where he would be able to come up with funny shit to tease her about on the fly. You want to focus on exercising your teasing muscles to the point where teasing the second layer becomes natural to you.
‘You go to Harvard? That’s awesome. You must be really smart. I bet you can levitate me with your mind.’
‘Ok Katie the banker…we should probably get you home. Its getting late and you’re going to need to be at 100% if you’re gonna close down that orphanage for blind kids tomorrow.’
‘(Braddock has been teasing Nicki on being short all night) Nicki let me ask you something. When you want to get a drink do you have to like run and jump to get up onto the barstool or do you just have a friend help you up there?’
‘(Said to an Asian girl) Yeah so anyway, you are the cutest black girl I’ve met tonight. I’m not attracted to that many black girls but, there is something about you.’
Teasing is a MASSIVE subject, but learning to think about the second layer is the foundation to getting good at this stuff.
For further examples on this I recommend watching a show called Tosh.0. Daniel Tosh’s comedy is all about taking stereotypes and then building off them to tease the second layer. Tosh on Soccer
There’s also a show called ‘Two Broke Girls’ that busts out a clever one liner about every 10 seconds. I don’t like the show much, but they do an awesome job teasing the second layer as well.
What will really make you good at this stuff though is simply practicing coming up with new teases at home all the time, and then going out into field and trying them out. Exercises and practice in field are the keys to becoming great at teasing.
So now you have got a feel for how you should be teasing a girl lets try putting what you have learned into practice.
Try coming up with teases on the categories listed below. If you leave the teases you came up with in the comments section, Braddock and I will be sure to give you our feedback.
Looking forward to hearing your responses!
Girl: I am from Texas
Girl: I am a nurse
Girls: We are here for my friends bachlorette party
- List the stereotypes associated with the subject you want to tease
- Tease the second layer/exaggerate
With practice you will be amazed at how quickly you can get good at this. Have an awesome Halloween guys!
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