Inner Game Friday: Reflections after some rough nights and how to get results even on your WORST nights.
Inner Game Friday’s
Well en route to Tel Aviv anyway. I’m in a metal tube flying through the sky over the Atlantic Ocean right now. I’m starting my new year with a pretty sweet vacation. I’m going to be traveling through Israel, Hungary, Turkey, and Austria with a friend for the next couple of weeks and I’m so pumped! I’ve never been to any of these places. I have no idea what to expect.
Anyways, down to business…Let’s talk inner game of dating.
I was sick for a week straight recently. It was miserable. For seven days I could hardly climb out of bed. During this time, I slept a lot, worked from my laptop, read a bunch of self-help stuff, and watched the entire series of Nip/Tuck as it was instantly streaming on Netflix (First few seasons were pretty entertaining, but it turns into a pile of crap especially in season 5 and 6. Not worth watching in my opinion. ) Unfortunately, I didn’t go out during this time AT ALL. I hadn’t gone this long without going into field for as long as I could remember.
FINALLY, I felt good enough to go back out on Wednesday, and my game felt rusty to say the least! I got crushed pretty much all night. I want to blame the club I was at, or the electronics convention bringing in a lame crowd, or my bad health, but obviously my game wasn’t as sharp as it had been before I got sick. I went out again on Thursday night hoping to get my swag back, but unfortunately I got crushed some more!
It was some of the worst nights out I’ve had in a while, but getting back into the game after a short break gave me some perspective, and it reminded me of some key concepts I thought I would outline for you guys in this article. I also added some extra outer-game content at the end of this post. It’s a strategy I created a few months back, and I think it’s going help you guys a ton to pull girls even when you are having a shit night like we all do from time to time.
But let’s talk inner game first
Momentum and Subcommunications
During the off-season, Kobe Bryant says he trains for 6 hours a day, 6 days a week. Why? At Kobe’s skill level it’s hard to imagine his jump-shot or his ball-handling really has any more potential for improvement. You would think he wouldn’t need to work so hard anymore. I think if you asked Kobe about his intense workout schedule, he would probably tell you he doesn’t expect to improve dramatically from it either. I think Kobe would probably tell you that he works out like a mad man during the off-season because he understands the importance of momentum, and the value subtle improvements can have over the course of a long season. He would probably tell you his understanding of the importance of momentum is one of the key things that separate him from everyone else in the NBA.
In the same sense, I think guys who are the best at game are able to appreciate the massive importance of momentum in game, and the impact momentum has on their subcommunications. Over these last couple of difficult nights, I’m sure my verbal game was virtually identical to how it is normally, but I can almost guarantee my subcommunications weren’t as on point as they were when I had been going out every night. Having bad subcommunications will fuck up your game every time.
Subcommunications are the bread and butter to generating attraction, because they are the only things that simply can’t be faked. A guy who isn’t confident might be able to give the illusion of confidence by delivering a clever line, but he’s never going to be able to hold eye contact at the right time or physically escalate in the same way a guy with real confidence and self-esteem can. So even though I don’t really expect to improve a ton when I go out on a Tuesday night for 30 minutes, I understand how important those nights are for me in terms of keeping positive momentum which will lead to stronger subcommunications. I honestly have no idea how anybody could go out twice a week and have any real smoothness to their game. Maybe when I’ve been around for a few years I will be able to do this, but for now its just not possible for me.
State is drawn from acting on your own intentions, not from going through the motions
I don’t drink when I go out very often so I don’t get to depend on alcohol to get me into state. On Wednesday I was having a lot of trouble getting myself out of my head. State seemed impossible to achieve, and obviously state is a bitch in that the more you try to get into state the harder getting in state becomes. Finally, I remembered the key to getting into state is acting solely off your own intentions.
I had spent the whole night small taking and doing bull shit push/pull with girls without doing the stuff in game that I really enjoy. I realized I had gone the whole night without doing my favorite thing in game- physically escalating… HARD. Thursday night I was a little better with this, and in my moments of authenticity, regardless of outcome, I tasted temporary moments of real in state glory, but it still wasn’t all there.
There was still a lot of going through the motions, and hesitation to rock the boat and behave however my core wanted me to behave which really kept me from reaching peak state. Listen to your core guys. Let it guide you. The more you let go and just let your core drive you through the night, the more success you will have. You will also get better 100 times faster. You will just have so many more quality reference experiences compared to the guy who doesn’t push it when he’s out, and your brain is going to start learning how to calibrate without thinking about it.
I hope this stuff helps. I can’t wait to hit the club as soon as I hit Tel Aviv. I feel like my core has been locked up for almost 2 weeks now and its just dying to be unleashed onto some Israeli honies.
Alright this blog post is long enough but fuck it lets keep going!
How To Get Laid Even On Your Worst Nights
Alright this little epiphany was HUGE for increasing my pull rate, and since I’m stuck on this plane for 11 hours I’m going to break it down for you guys. Enjoy!
So most clubs go from 10pm-2am, but in Vegas clubs run from 10pm-4am (after that there are also afterhours clubs, but lets consider that a last resort for now). I break the hours the club is open into 3 categories, and I run different game based on whatever time frame I’m in. The categories and important differences in strategy are listed below:
*Quick Note: Whether it’s early on in the night or late in the evening, I’m ALWAYS screening for logistics. If you are trying to pull a girl the same night you meet her, make sure not to waste time on sets where the logistics are impossible. Anyways….
10pm-1:30am- Shits and Giggles Time
Girls aren’t trying to go home with guys early on in the night. They want to dance, drink, meet other guys in the venue, see the dj, hang with friends, and enjoy the full emotional experience of the night. I REPEAT, A GIRL IS ALMOST NEVER GOING TO GO HOME WITH YOU DURING THE FIRST PART OF THE NIGHT. So with that in mind, you aren’t ‘shooting to kill’ so to speak during the first part of the evening. Early in the night, my sets are kept short and tend to be super light hearted.
I don’t sexualize as much or push the physical escalation as quickly I would at later stages in the evening. Early in the night, I’m keeping it short and sweet, screening for logistics, and I make GETTING THE NUMBER my primary goal. When I’m getting the number, I set the time bridge that we are going to meet up later in the night. I’ll usually tell her we are going to meet up to go to afterparty, get food, go to after hours club, etc… You don’t really need to be all that specific about it, but I’m still making my intentions to meet up later that evening very clear.
I usually never actually go do the thing I said we were going to do, but it doesn’t matter. So again, I’m not trying to pull the girl right then and there during ‘shits and giggles’ time. I’m not trying to stay in set very long, I’m not being over the top in my sexualization, and I’m not rapidly physically escalating. I’m simply going to generate attraction, build a little comfort, and go for the number while setting a time bridge to hang out later. Girls you meet during ‘shits and giggles’ time are unimportant yet super important at the same time. They are insignificant in that the potential of the set itself is very limited, but important for reasons I will explain later.
1:31am-3am- Shoot to Kill Time
Around 1:30 the vibe in the club starts to noticeably change. It’s the time where the club ‘hits state,’ and this is when actually pulling the girl becomes a reality. My game begins to work its way up to full throttle here. I start to sexualize more, I start getting physical with girls right off the bat, and I start to go for the bounce. The later the night gets, the more aggressive I become.
I’m also ok with my sets lasting longer here as long as I know the girl’s logistics are going to make the pull possible. Getting the girl’s number isn’t a priority for me anymore, but if logistics are bad or I know I can’t pull yet I’ll get the number, and in the same way I do with girls earlier tell them that we are going hang later. This is where most of your pulls happen, but taking advantage of the end of the night I think is where I set myself apart from most guys.
3:01am-4am- Wounded Gazelle Time
Alright at 3am I like to think every girl left in the venue is there for the sole purpose of finding a dude to hook up with. If I haven’t pulled yet, I’m keeping everything going at full throttle and trying to make something happen. If the club starts to really empty out, I’ll game outside the venue. Outside the club game is the same as inside the club game, with maybe slightly less physical escalation. Make-outs and such outside the club are still definitely doable though.
The key distinction between ‘shoot to kill’ and ‘wounded gazelle’ time is that ‘wounded gazelle’ time is when I start to ping all the girls I met during ‘shits and giggles’ time through text. Now you can see why these sets early on are important, because they can be huge for salvaging your night as things start to die down. I keep the texts short and sweet and go straight to arranging logistics. There’s not tons of text game involved here. For one, there’s no time to be all that cute. Additionally, I already made it clear to the girl earlier that she and I were going to meet up later so there’s no need for bull shit. These text convos have led to a bunch of pulls, and some awesome adventures.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
So on a crowded Saturday night think about how many options I have here. If get to the club at midnight, I can usually get at least a couple potentially solid numbers. Then in ‘shoot to kill’ time I should be in state, and hopefully can pull there, but even if I can’t I can still get more numbers and there is still plenty of work to be done in ‘wounded gazelle’ time. IF ALL ELSE FAILS I should by at least 3:30 have a couple text strings alive that could lead to me meeting up with the girl. Even on nights where I’m having a really rough time, I have been able to pull simply by having this solid strategy in place. Give it a try and let me know if it helps out!
Alright guys, time to enjoy vacation. Ttu on Monday!