Inner Game Friday’s: A Lesson From Fight Club By Neverender
Inner Game Fridays- Lessons from Fight Club’s Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden- This guy is like the unofficial mascot of the pua community. He’s constantly drawn up as an illustration of what it means to be an alpha-male, or an example of someone with strong inner game, etc, etc.
While I do find Tyler Durden inspring, I think there is a major lack of clarity in the pua community regarding what it is specifically about Tyler that makes him a great example of the alpha-male mentality or someone with strong inner game.
Lets be clear, Tyler Durden’s views on capitalism, materialism, violence, or the value of human life are extreme to say the least. Tyler is absolutely off the reservation crazy. He was also much more of a manipulative cult leader than he was an alpha-male, and his don’t give a fuck attitude about life is also the complete antithesis of what guys who are committed to game are all about. I mean Tyler Durden says straight up at one point, “Self-improvement is masturbation”- This is a ridiculous notion, and you are a sack of shit in my opinion if you actually believe this. As we talked about in the “Why We Learn Game” post, learning game is all about proudly working every day to become the best version of yourself you can be and attaining the life you have always dreamed of. Self improvement isn’t masturbation; it’s a path to liberation from the unfulfilled life. If you aren’t working on self improvement, you are probably masturbating. Despite all of his radicalism, however, there is still something deeply inspiring about Tyler Durden. So what is it?
When we watch Fight Club we recognize Tyler Durden as a man who was unwaveringly committed to what he felt was his life’s deepest purpose. I mean this guy lived in a dumpy house, got the shit kicked out of him regularly, and most would consider his life goals foolish, impossible, and insane. Never the less, Tyler embraced everything about who he was and the struggles he would go through, understanding that these were steps necessary to achieving his goals. He was completely unafraid to express himself in any way he saw fit, and most importantly he didn’t care how people judged him and he didn’t care whether or not he looked cool. In all the ways Edward Norton’a character, Tyler Durden’s counterpart, wished he were more true to himself, Tyler Durden actually took the plunge and allowed himself to perceive the world entirely as he alone felt it should be perceived.
“I look the way you want to look, I fuck the way you want to fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly I am free in all the ways you are not” –Tyler Durden
When people tell you, “Be like Tyler Durden” I often feel like they are saying it as a roundabout way of saying ‘be cool’ or ‘don’t let other guys AMOG you,’ but its important to keep in mind Tyler Durden NEVER tried to be cool. If he wasn’t being played by Brad Pitt, and was instead dressed up as an ugly, fat, stinky, homeless dude as perhaps he should have been, he may not have come off as cool at all. He also was never intentionally trying to out alpha anybody. He didn’t have time to think about things like that. Tyler Durden was focused. Tyler Durden knew his purpose and his value. The way he moved through the world was simply the by-product of a man who deep down had completely let go of any concern that he might not be good enough to achieve what he wanted in life. THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOULD BE AFTER.
“Success is doing what you want to do, when you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want… Every man dies. Not every man lives” –Tony Robbins
Wayne Dyer says that, “You are unique in all the world.” No one exactly like you has ever existed throughout human history, and no one exactly like you will ever exist after you are gone.In the same way, the purpose of your life is entirely unique to you. No one will ever be able to fully understand your purpose, nor should you waste your time trying to explain it to people.
Simply understand that your life is going to be your masterpiece. Give yourself permission to put it together in a way that is pleasurable to you alone. Braddock says to “Give yourself permission to make mistakes and to be your own man.”
You may not be sure what the entire masterpiece of your life is meant to look like yet, but if you are reading this blog its likely that you at least know what it looks like when it comes to your relationships with women. If you have that vision, hold on to it and guard it with everything you’ve got. Appreciate that the vision you have for your relationships with women is just another beautiful facet of your life’s deepest purpose.
Aspire to build a connection between you and your purpose so strong that if you woke up tomorrow, and everything you ever loved, achieved, earned, or were given was taken away from you, you would be able to confidently move forward knowing that who you are is bigger than anything exterior to you. These are the lessons we can learn form Tyler Durden, a man so sure of his self-image and purpose that its impossible not to love him for it. The next time you watch Fight Club, put yourself in Tyler Durden’s shoes. Imagine that instead of fight club, you are pursuing your own unique purpose the way Tyler Durden would do it- with absolute certainty.
“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.” – Tyler Durden
So make it count! Have an awesome weekend guys!