Inner Game: Introduction to State
Being in state is that moment in the club where the superman cape rolls down and you feel like you can do anything- Braddock
I’ve come to realize that being in state is the single most important factor in being good with women. It is the cornerstone of natural game. Even if you don’t have awesome game, if you can be in state every time you go out you can be successful with women. We talked about in the last post on togetherness that a woman wants to build a connection with YOU, being in state is what allows you to build that connection and build it quickly. Rapid escalation, fast make-outs and closes, and 10 game all require you to be in excellent state.
Hearing this should excite you! Being in state is what makes game fun, and it gives you the green light to just be yourself and act on your own intentions. Becoming a master of state in a nightclub is important for the sake of meeting women, but even more than that its massively important just for the sake of your own happiness. In the last month in particular, I have completely stopped thinking about lines and routines when I go out into field. My only goal has been to simply get into state. I’ll work hard at learning theory during the day, but as soon as I hit the club everything logical in me gets shut down. When I hit the club I’m just going to be me, and I’m going to go go ape-shit with my friends and have as much fun as possible.
State is a strong feeling of being in the moment, and being completely out of your head. If you play sports and you have ever been ‘in the zone’ that is what it should be like when you go into state in a club. You might also find yourself getting into state when you are at work, hanging out with your friends, or having sex.
When you are in state you are (credit TD):
Acting in the moment
Letting your real personality come out
Being unaffected how other people react
Being detached from outcome
Taking things as they come
Being fully present with the things going on around you
Assuming and expecting everyone is your friend
Completely trusting in yourself
Great athletes like Michael Jordan are masters at going into state- Being completely in the moment and completely trusting yourself
So how do we get into state?
If being in state is the biggest key to success with women, learning strategies that work for you to get into state is MASSIVELY important. Here’s a list of things I do to help myself get into state when I go out:
Change your beliefs
The first step to being able to get into state is changing your belief system. The last few posts on inner game have been all about changing the way you view the world and women so that going out can be a more fun experience for you. The process of improving your beliefs should never end, so just because you know girls aren’t going to get mad at you when you say they are gorgeous, doesn’t mean you have nothing left in your belief system you should be changing. A really powerful belief I’ve adopted recently is that GIRLS LIKE ME FOR ME- Silly things about me included. The more positive beliefs you have about yourself, women, and life the more successful you will be and the easier it will be for you to get into state. The list of positive beliefs you can adopt that will revolutionize your game is endless. Check out old inner game posts for more stuff that would be helpful towards changing your beliefs.
Learn to quiet your mind
I think guys who learn game tend to be very smart and very analytical. They approach going out like they are about to play chess with the women they will be interacting with. They think that everytime a woman says something they need to have the perfect response. While being in your head and acting logically probably serves you very well in places like work, when it comes to interacting with women, the inner dialogue needs to be shut off completely. Its amazing how women don’t give a shit about what you say. What they are looking for is where what you are saying is coming from. I’ve been shit tested before, and for whatever reason I happened to give some really stupid responses but because I didn’t hesitate and it came from a place of strength it was attractive to the women I was talking to. A great technique to learning to quiet your mind is the practice of meditation. I have been meditating for about 10 minutes a day for a month now. I’m admittedly still at a point where I can only shut everything off for about a minute at a time, but when you do reach a state of meditation you reach this warm fuzzy center of yourself which is the essence of where ‘being in state’ comes from.
Learn to state bump in field and abandon self-consciousness
A state bump is something you do that helps get your level of state up. When I’m in field, I do all kinds of things that help improve my state. As soon as I walk into the club I usually turn to my roommate and flex every muscle in my body and scream at him, ‘Lets goooooooo!’ As loud as I can.
Me when I walk into the club
Another great piece of advice I learned from Braddock is to open the first set in the club you see as soon as walk in. No hesitation. It doesn’t matter if it’s the hottest girl in the club or a group of fat girls, just open. *On an aside, you should be able to have tons of fun talking to a group of fat girls. Allow yourself to make every interaction fun, by just being you and being in the moment.
If I ever feel my state start to slip I usually jump around and yell to get myself psyched up again. This kind of stuff is also good because it helps you to become less self-conscious. Being self-conscious and in your head are the 2 biggest state killers by far.
My wingman and I will also play tons of stupid games to help us get more into the moment and having fun when we are in field. A lot of times we will play rock paper scissors, and the loser gets stuck having to do some embarrassing that the winner comes up with. On one occasion, I had to go do a super direct approach on a girl who had the scariest steroid-infused boyfriend I have ever seen in my life. Probably don’t recommend that one, but you can see how fucking around like this would be fun. These games are stupid and nonsensical, but they are also incredibly helpful for forcing yourself out of your head.
Recycle positive thoughts through your head
If I ever am going into my own head, I try to keep my thoughts filled with positive questions like:
What is awesome about this moment?
How can I make this fun?
Just fucking trust yourself
I know trusting yourself is a cliché and its much easier said than done, but guys understand that you already have it in you somewhere to be awesome with women. All the studying and learning you’re doing is going to be great for improving your skills for attracting women, but don’t forget that you are in fact a man. You have been designed to have all the qualities within you to be very attractive to women just by being you. Going into field should be about expressing who you are and realizing that just acting on your own intentions is what is more attractive to women than any line or routine.
What is even more awesome is that when you begin to trust yourself, you will find that your game improves 100 times quicker than it would if you were trying to be tactical about everything you were doing in field. AS SOMEONE WHO IS ON THE SAME JOURNEY AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT TRUSTING YOURSELF WILL TAKE YOUR GAME TO THE NEXT LEVEL TONIGHT, AND IT WILL HELP YOU IMPROVE 100 TIMES FASTER AS TIME GOES BY.
Let me give you an example. Going into Superconference last October, my verbal game had become pretty damn sick. I had a great arsenal of openers, transitions, dhv stories (if needed), qualifiers, and comfort topics. My teasing was very good and I had done a 1000s roleplays in my time in field. My physical game, however, wasn’t great. I had taken 2 bootcamps, listened to every audio, read every book, and I still couldn’t internalize a sense of clarity when it came to physically escalating. At superconference, I talked to a lot of instructors and my physical escalation improved a little bit but I still didn’t feel like I understood HOW to physically escalate. I had been getting good results, but I can’t tell you how fucking frustrating it was feeling that I could not figure out how to break through the glass ceiling and take it to that insane next level.
On Wednesday this week I went out, had 4 make outs with 8s+ all within 5 minutes of opening, and winded up pulling one of them in what felt like 15 minutes. Obviously, my physical escalation skills improved dramatically! But how did I make all these improvements to my physical escalation over the course of just a couple of weeks? I trusted myself. I made the decision that I was just going to let myself do whatever I wanted to do in the moment, and trusted that I would instinctively make corrections as needed. My only goal has become to get into state and then let my subconscious mind take over and kick some ass. I know its hard to do especially when you are getting started, but for you guys who have internalized all the material this is going to be what takes your game to that crazy next level.
Hope this helps guys. Please comment, and have an awesome weekend!
-Neverender
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