Love Systems IVS: Dancing Monkey Syndrome (Guest Post by Von Pounders)
Dancing Monkey Syndrome
When most guys start learning game and how to show off their positive qualities to women, it is a mind blowing experience. They did not realize that by changing a few bits of behavior, that they could get such positive results… At least initially. There is a dramatic difference between getting a girl’s interest and getting a girl’s attention. Attention seeking behavior can be achieved many ways. Yelling and starting a fight will get you attention, having you and your wings dress up as the Avengers when you go out for the night will get you attention, and spending the night entertaining girls by outlandish hijinks will get you attention, but none of those are positive. This is the description of someone who would rather be noticed than ignored, and a lot of guys first starting out confuse getting attention, with getting attraction.
Dancing Monkey Syndrome vs Real Attraction
An example of this is “dancing monkey” syndrome, it’s so prevalent that we even have an Interview Series on it here. Guys guilty of the dancing monkey make the mistake of thinking that any attention by a women is positive. Dancing monkey feels he needs to entertain the girl; he often uses self-deprecating humor insulting himself or his wings. He is basically a try hard attempting to compensate for his subconscious belief that he is not good enough for the girl, or that if he starts acting normally and having a real conversation, that it won’t be good enough and she will lose interest and walk away. These guys tend to stay in attraction the whole interaction with the girl, and we all know that most of the built-up attraction is lost once the night ends.
How to avoid Dancing Monkey Syndrome
If you don’t continue to move down the progression model into qualification and comfort, then when you try to talk with her the next day she will just remember you as the comedian at the bar that was fun and entertaining. This kind of attraction does not lend itself to seduction. It does not make her swoon for you and wonder when you are going to call. And even if it did, these guys are setting themselves up for impossibly high expectations on her part. Spiking her emotions all night is exhausting and not normal, and good luck keeping it up for the next however many months of your relationship if you were lucky enough to get one.
Confused if you are stuck in dancing monkey syndrome or not?
When in doubt imagine one of your favorite Alpha Males (George Clooney, Marlon Brando, Brad Pitt, Frank Sinatra, Gregory Peck, Kirk Douglass, Carey Grant) and think to yourself “would he act like this?” It is a great rule of thumb. These guys know that they are more than enough for any woman as they are. They can kid and tease women for their mutual entertainment, but are not going to do so at the expense of their own self respect. These guys are calm, cool and collected; they are not a drunken court jester all night long. There is a difference to being a solemn stone-faced bore, and being comfortable in your own skin. Teasing girls is completely different from dancing monkey syndrome, and if you need some help learning how to tease girls properly, you should take one of Braddock‘s Bootcamps so he can teach you how to use trigger words.
Final thoughts on Dancing Monkey Syndrome
You want to find yourself walking the line of being cool and being fun. It is a balance, and if you don’t know exactly what to do, come to a bootcamp and watch some of the world’s leading experts in the field. Then emulate them and find your own style. I guarantee you won’t see a dancing monkey on the teaching staff.
If you feel this article hits you hard, not to worry. We did an entire Love Systems Audio Series on Dancing Monkey Syndrome. You can listen to the first 10 minutes free by clicking here: Dancing Monkey Syndrome Audio Series
-Von Pounders
Von Pounders is available for one on one’s, phone consultations, and other private training. If you would like to learn more about Love Systems Dating Coach Von Pounders or would like to contact him, you can find him here:
Twitter: @LS_Pounders
pounders@lovesystems.com
www.vonpounders.com
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